Its a religion. A cult. A disease.

Or is it just football in Alabama????

I live in the deep South. Where 3 things are important. God, family, and either Alabama or Auburn football.

We're stuck smack in the middle of the Alabama/Auburn rivalry. Trust me, it's intense. It's one of those things you are from birth. Mama and Daddy took you to The Capstone (Alabama) or The Plains (Auburn). Or parked you in front of the tv to shout alongside them at Coach Dye or Coach Stallings (when I was a kid those were the coaches). If you move here it's one of those things you are expected to choose. But only if you moved here from someplace out of conference. You know, not in the SEC. Most people would never ask you to relinquish your allegiances to Georgia, Florida, Arkansas, Tennessee or Ole Miss...but seriously....why would you not want to? ;-)

I digress.

So lets say you move here. Meet your new neighbors. Here's how the first conversation plays out....

Southern neigbor: Haaaaayyyy! (We don't say hi...and we pronounce it with a long A not an e) How are y'all? We are so glad to have y'all as our new neighbors. Here's a banana puddin' I made for ya!

You: Hi! Thank you guys so much. Is it always this miserably humid?

Neighbor: Oh, bless your heart! It sure is. It ain't even real hot today. Only 92. And the humidity didn't even reach a-hundred! But yep, it's always this hot. You learn to love it after awhile. So, where y'all from?

You: Oh, we just moved from insert your former town here.

Neighbor: Oh, bless your heart. Y'all are prob'ly wore slap out after that trip and all this movin'. So do you have any family around here?

[We almost always ask about family first]

You: Yes, we are pretty exhausted. But no, we do not have family here. Everyone is back home in insert your town again.

Neighbor: Well bless your hearts!! (more emphasis this time) Well y'all let us know if we can do anything to help. We'll be more'n glad to help y'all out! By the way, we are having a picnic at the church this afternoon. Y'all should join us.

[We will always invite you to church, if you've been here awhile before we meet, we'll ask you where you go to church]

You: Well, thanks for the invitation, but we have lots of unpacking left to do and......(get interrupted)

Neighbor: Oh honey, we understand. Maybe y'all can come with us on Sunday. Bro. Derrick is preachin' out of Ephesians 5. He ain't afraid to step on nobody's toes, either. It'll change your marriage! Also, tomorrow is the Iron Bowl. Y'all want to watch it with us. Everybody in our neighborhood is comin' over to watch it and cook out (we don't say barbecue...barbecue is not a verb here. Barbecue is smoked pork, ok?) Who y'all pullin' for? Alabama or Auburn?

[You will never escape the Alabama/Auburn question during football season. Ever.]

You: Ummm....what's an Iron Bowl?

Neighbor: Lordy, honey, it's only the biggest ballgame all year in the state of Alabama. It's when Alabama plays that other team in the state. (Auburn fans will say "When Auburn plays that other team in the state")

You: Oh, well maybe we can stop by for an hour or two.

Neighbor: An hour or two?? Honey, everybody is coming at 11. The game ain't til 8:00. So y'all just take the day off and come meet everyone.

You: They are coming over 9 hours early??? For what???

Neighbor: Well, to start smokin' the ribs and watch the Egg Bowl (that's Mississippi's rivalry). And well, just to visit, and argue over who's better. I'm just glad it's on the other side of the state this year. If it were in Tuscaloosa/Auburn we'd have to leave at 7:00 in the mornin' to head down there to tailgate! So, who'd did you say you were for???

You: Ok. Maybe we can come before the game. And we haven't really talked about Alabama or Auburn. We've always been So and So fans. We really aren't for Alabama or Auburn.

Neighbor: Well, you better choose one before tomorrow!!! And if y'all can't make it over to watch the game, then we'll see y'all at church on Sunday.


Y'all, I ain't kiddin'! Or as my husband says "I ain't just whistlin' Dixie." I'm serious about that too. Unfortunately.

Regardless. Football kicks off soon and I couldn't be happier!

Except for this year, my son is playing peewee football.

And that makes me...well....opposite of happy. I think.

More on that tomorrow.

So, do y'all have rivalries where you live????