3 or 10 things motherhood has recently taught me

1. My son is getting to old for me to sniff the clothes laying on his bedroom floor to see if they are dirty. It's like playing Russian roulette. I have learned that it is worth re-washing already clean clothes than to experience the pleasure that is a t-shirt worn under football pads for 2 hours.

2. Polly Pocket accessories obviously regenerate like lizards' tails. It seems for every 10 I suck up in the vacuum cleaner 20 reappear on the playroom floor. It's a phenomena I may never fully understand.

3. White vinegar is more precious than gold.

4. Diet Coke is more precious than white vinegar, but does little to whiten clothes or clean hardwood floors.

5. It's not worth arguing with my daughter over what she wears to school. Wearing tube socks and high top Chuck Taylors everyday never hurt anybody. Nor did the mismatched Keds and cutoff Duck Head shorts that I insisted upon wearing daily at her age.

6. I have become my mother. I swore I wouldn't. Just as she swore she wouldn't become my grandmother. Such is the natural progression. Swearing not to become your mother is pointless. It's like swearing the sun won't come up tomorrow; totally inevitable and beyond your control.

7. Kids will still play outside all day, like we did as children, instead of sitting in front of the TV. They'll build forts, make up games, and ride bicycles if you simply encourage them to do so. Or lock them out of the house. Totally kidding. Probably.

8. I said I would NEVER drive a minivan. Yet, lately I have considered the option. There. I said it! The last shred of "coolness" that once lived inside me just died. It's just as well. It was on life support anyway.

9. I can't think of the last time I wasn't at least a little bit tired.

10. When life hands me lemons, I peel them and put them down the garbage disposal. Making lemonade doesn't improve the smell of my kitchen sink! Practicality is the byproduct of motherhood. (see #8 for a perfect example).